Contemplation

First of all, whenever I think about writing or sharing my reaction to our experiences together, I REALLY struggle with whether or not I should, because the voice in my head, well the annoying one of them anyway, keeps saying, "Hey, I think you just want to impress people, or get them to really feel what you are feeling or try to make them think you are insightful or smart. No? Then why are you writing or sharing or praying that? Why? Why? To maybe help them or help yourself or both?!?!? Yeah, right. Get real."
Well, I have no answer to the questions of the annoying voice in my head; however, I know that it is valuable to participate and bring more togetherness to the HCOR, so I want to share.
The moments I've spent in contemplation have been interesting for sure. There haven't been any Divine voices, at least not audible ones, or undeniable insights, but there has been an new awareness or a feeling of something like, "Wow; doing this is really important and really necessary."
I remember the time of silence or contemplation being a constant battle against all the busyness and work stuff going on in my head; me yelling at all the thoughts telling them to shut up, asking God for quietness, stillness, peace, but still really struggling with the voices and noise in my head.
Honestly, feeling that it was helpful at the end. Unfortunately, my thoughts go "Yeah, it was helpful enough to realize that instead of 10 minutes you really need a solid week of this. You really need to sit quietly with no distractions for an entire week and then you might hear what God has to say."
That's the annoying voice. It can be somewhat idealistic at times.
Anyway, I am really grateful for the last year and a half with all of you; your company, friendship, caring, questions, interest and willingness to journey together Wednesday night after Wednesday night.